Ultra Modern Anniversary Gift List

Ultra Modern Anniversary Gift List

The other day I ran across one of those Anniversary Gifts Tables. Its considered traditional to give a gift to your spouse when you reach certain marriage milestones. I'm sure some scoundrel at De Beers hijacked this tradition and turned it into a way to force men to go out and buy more jewelry for their wives. Anyway, apparently the "Old" traditional gifts are falling out of favor, so some other genius, probably from De Beers, or maybe Macys came up with the "Modern" traditional gift list. So in the spirit of evolution, I decided that being an "Ultra Modern" man, I ought to come up with an ultra modern version. Check it out.

Warning! this was way funnier to me when I made it up.

Anniversary # Traditional Gift Modern Gift Ultra Modern Gift
1 Paper Clocks iPod
2 Cotton China Digital Camera
3 Leather Crystal or Glass Pool Table
4 Fruit or Flowers Appliances Jamaican Vacation
5 Wood  Silverware Lap Dance
6 Candy or Iron Wood Plasma TV
7 Wool or Copper Desk Sets Margarita Machine
8 Bronze or Pottery Linens or Lace Gift Exemption
9 Pottery or Willow Leather Cubic Zirconium
10 Tin or Aluminum Diamond Fire Extinguisher
11 Steel Jewelry SUV or Sports Car
12 Silk or Linen Pearls Laptop
13 Lace Textiles or Furs Cash or Stock Options
14 Ivory Gold Jewelry Breast Implants
15 Crystal Watches Big Mac or Onion Rings
20 China Platinum Threesome
25 Silver Silver Kitchen Makeover
30 Pearl Diamond Helicopter Pilot Lessons
35 Coral Jade Video Arcade Game
40 Ruby Ruby Duct Tape or Superglue
45 Sapphire Sapphire Ultimate Fighting Championship
50 Gold Gold Cure for Cancer
55 Emerald Emerald Churro or Soft Pretzel
60 Diamond Diamond Cryogenic Preservation

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