Ultra Modern Anniversary Gift List
The other day I ran across one of those Anniversary Gifts Tables. Its considered traditional to give a gift to your spouse when you reach certain marriage milestones. I'm sure some scoundrel at De Beers hijacked this tradition and turned it into a way to force men to go out and buy more jewelry for their wives. Anyway, apparently the "Old" traditional gifts are falling out of favor, so some other genius, probably from De Beers, or maybe Macys came up with the "Modern" traditional gift list. So in the spirit of evolution, I decided that being an "Ultra Modern" man, I ought to come up with an ultra modern version. Check it out.
Warning! this was way funnier to me when I made it up.
| Anniversary # | Traditional Gift | Modern Gift | Ultra Modern Gift |
| 1 | Paper | Clocks | iPod |
| 2 | Cotton | China | Digital Camera |
| 3 | Leather | Crystal or Glass | Pool Table |
| 4 | Fruit or Flowers | Appliances | Jamaican Vacation |
| 5 | Wood | Silverware | Lap Dance |
| 6 | Candy or Iron | Wood | Plasma TV |
| 7 | Wool or Copper | Desk Sets | Margarita Machine |
| 8 | Bronze or Pottery | Linens or Lace | Gift Exemption |
| 9 | Pottery or Willow | Leather | Cubic Zirconium |
| 10 | Tin or Aluminum | Diamond | Fire Extinguisher |
| 11 | Steel | Jewelry | SUV or Sports Car |
| 12 | Silk or Linen | Pearls | Laptop |
| 13 | Lace | Textiles or Furs | Cash or Stock Options |
| 14 | Ivory | Gold Jewelry | Breast Implants |
| 15 | Crystal | Watches | Big Mac or Onion Rings |
| 20 | China | Platinum | Threesome |
| 25 | Silver | Silver | Kitchen Makeover |
| 30 | Pearl | Diamond | Helicopter Pilot Lessons |
| 35 | Coral | Jade | Video Arcade Game |
| 40 | Ruby | Ruby | Duct Tape or Superglue |
| 45 | Sapphire | Sapphire | Ultimate Fighting Championship |
| 50 | Gold | Gold | Cure for Cancer |
| 55 | Emerald | Emerald | Churro or Soft Pretzel |
| 60 | Diamond | Diamond | Cryogenic Preservation |